christinaxchaos

So..

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 02:47:21 GMT

I don't really know what to do about this whole situation. I mean like.. Yeah, I'm ok I guess and I'm working through this, but like.. I don't know. It's all so confusing... I went to Amanda's house yesterday for what was going to be the last time, and I just couldn't do it. Like. I couldn't let it be the last time I saw her. I couldn't.. And like.. The part that confused me the most was that when I was there with her, she ended up kissing me... A lot of times... And like... I don't know... She cried a lot toward the end of the night... And then like.. I told her she should be happy because she's finally getting the girl she wanted back... And she was like "Yeah, but I'm not happy." and then she was like "I want something that means a lot to me.." and I was like "What do you mean?" and she was like "I'm talking about you..." but yet she's choosing Nik.. Like.. I don't understand it... She cuddled with me and everything half the day.. Flirted.. Stayed close to me... And hell she even said she was second guessing her choice already, and she isn't sure if it's because Nik isn't what she wants, or if it's because she's upset about losing me in the process... So.. I told her she needs to figure it out and everything... But like.. Ugh it's all so confusing.. I don't know.. Hopefully things turn out alright... And aside from all this, I think I like a boy.. Like.. A transgender boy, but still.. Yeah... I don't know.. It's weird... But yeah. Ugh.. This is all so confusing.. I don't know.. I just hope I can be happy in the end..

-Christina

I can never win..

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 06:44:40 GMT

For those of you, if anyone, who give two shits...

Amanda chose Nik...
Yay for me....
Bye..

-Christina

Summer

Wed, 20 May 2009 16:13:39 GMT

So, there isn't really much to update on about the whole Amanda situation, unfortunately... I completely opened up to her last night, and this morning she told me that it kinda made it even harder for her, but not to worry and that she was really glad that I told her. So I don't know, I just hope it turns out alright...

Aside from that, I'm pretty much officially a senior! Class of 2010, baby. Me and 3 of my friends realized that we can write SEN10RS instead of SENIORS for our year! Heck yes. Totally making shirts. Haha! but yeah, we have it written across our fingers spelling out "SEN10RS!". Amazing. I really can't wait for senior year. I mean yeah I'll be at a different school, but it's going to be killer. Not to mention this summer. Oh man. New softball team. Money to spend. Friends. Car. License. Heck yes. I can't wait. I really can't wait to start playing with my new team though. We have our first tournament this weekend up in Boca. Pretty psyched. Tomorrow is my last day of school, cause I'm not coming for Friday cause I have 2 games. I have to come in one day next week for my English exam, then I'll be an official Senior =D Can't wait.

But yeah, not really much else to say right now.. I'll be sure to update here with the whole Amanda thing when things progress... Wish me luck..

-Christina

Hopeful..

Mon, 18 May 2009 19:52:21 GMT

Hey whoever actually reads this. So, most of you know about the thing with me and Amanda and all that. I'm not sure if I've ever talked about her ex Nicole (Nik), but I can't stand that girl. She's constantly upsetting and hurting Amanda, and it pisses me off. Ugh. But anyway, Nik originally left Amanda last August for this girl Autumn, and now Autumn moved or something, and now Nik is trying to go back to Amanda. Thing is, Nik is/was Amanda's first love. They were together for two years and since August, Amanda was doing everything she could to try to get Nik to take her back. Then I came along and, though she was still a bit stuck on Nik, she was getting better about it. Well, Saturday I got up hella early just to go over to her house for the day before she had to go to work at 5:30 because I couldn't sleep over like I normally would because she had a dance recital early the next morning. So yeah. Shit happened and we were like we always are with eachother. And well, lately I've been coming close to saying "I Love You" to her, but I would stop myself. And that night I left her a message because I thought she had fallen asleep, and at the end it was kinda weird because I almost said it and I stopped myself. But anyway, she texted me a little later and told me that she wasn't texting back because Nik called her... And well, Nik asked her out. Amanda told her she couldn't give her an answer right now, and she told me that she couldn't say yes because she couldn't do that to me. Because she likes me like.. A hella lot, and she couldn't hurt me like that. It hurt like hell. Not gonna lie, I cried. But I told her that I want her to be happy and that she needs to do what she thinks will be best for her.. So basically she's stuck now trying to make a decision between me and Nik. I even told her that, as stupid as it sounds, she could make a list of Pros and Cons for both of us and see if that helps. The only thing I can think of that she could put down as bad for me is that I don't live as close as Nik does. I can think of countless things for Nik, though. Hah. But yeah, so I don't know. I told her that if she were to choose Nik, that I probably wouldn't talk to her as much or be around as much, not because I don't want to see her, but because I wouldn't be able to handle the fact that the girl I love is with someone that doesn't deserve her at all. Oh, and I told her I loved her, too. Which she took pretty well thankfully. I told her I was afraid to tell her at the time because I didn't want her to think I was only saying it to influence her decision, and she said she knows I'm not like that, so it's good that she knows I'm honest. So yeah, I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm scared shitless. I want her to be happy, but at the same time I'm really hoping that it'll be with me and not Nik. I mean she's already fucked her over once, she'll most likely do it again if she meets someone else again... I don't know. I guess I'll post again after the verdict is delivered... Later.

-Christina

Eventful Weekend =]

Mon, 11 May 2009 15:56:25 GMT

Yeah, so this weekend was pretty chill. Friday I didn't go to school because there really wasn't a point to going since it was prom night and I wasn't going to miss much. So I ended up staying home, and so did Colin. So I went and picked him up and we went back to my house and chilled for a while. Tanned out in my back yard a bit, then we went in and ordered pizza and watched movies. Was pretty cool. Then later on we went up to Hills to pick up Skittlez from school and my car was like.. Swarmed with my old friends from there. People I hadn't seen in months. It was great. I got a lot of hugs and numbers back and all that. Pretty amazing. I really can't wait for next year now. Senior year with all my old friends is going to be great. I'm excited. And then later on that night, me, Colin, Skittlez, Neko, and Asia all went up to the beach. That was an adventur in itself. We had a good time, but then when it came time to leave, we needed $8 to get out of the parking garage, and we only had $5, so we went around asking people to give us a dollar. And we got this one guy and told him we were $3 short or whatever, and he pulls out this big wad of cash and we're thinking "Alright awesome he's going to give us the $3 and we can leave!" Yeah no. Dude gave us $2 and left. I was like really?! You couldn't just give us the $3?! Damnit! So it took us about another 20 minutes to find another dollar before we could leave finally. It was cool though. Then Saturday I went over to Camille's house with Becky, Gabby, and Meramy [I don't know if that's spelled right >.>], and took us all up to the Museum of Discovery and Science for Camille's birthday. But we went to Pizza Hut for lunch first. Hah. We got lost and made some videos in the car. It was fun, though. And the museum was pretty cool. Hah. After all that I just went home and relaxed for a bit. Talked to Amanda a lot. She confuses me sometimes. But I'll get to that soon. Then Sunday I was sleeping and my coach calls me asking where I was and I told him I was sleeping, and apparently we had practice. So I had to get up and go out there. It wasn't that bad, though. We had a scrimage against a crap team though. So I kinda felt like I wasted my time, but it's all good. I got my practice. Then I just went home and chilled. Took a little nap. Then later we went out to eat for Mother's Day and it was pretty cool. We had a good time. So yeah, pretty good weekend. I don't know what's going on in Amanda's head, though. I was talking to her yesterday through text and I sent her a picture because I was semi dressed up with a nice collared shirt and jeans and stuff and she said I looked really good dressed up and basically at one point I told her to just wait till I took her out to dinner because I would look even nicer, and she was like "Lol I kinda can't wait." and I was like "Kinda can't wait?" and she was like "To go on a date with you..." and it was really cute. And I asked what was on her mind, and she said a lot. When I asked what it was about, she was like "Us." but she never elaborated. So I have no idea what's going on in that head of hers. But we still aren't together or anything, so I dunno. I guess I'll find out in time. I'm just liking how everything has been going lately. Oh! And Sunday when I got home from my practice, my mom was on the phone, and when I asked who it was, she said it was Joey! Joey is my older half bro that lives in Missouri, and I haven't talked to him in months. So I got to talk to him for a bit, which was pretty awesome. He said he loved me before we got off the phone, too, which totally made my day. Anyway! Things are looking up for me lately, and I have God to thank for that. He's been watching out for me, and I know that he has. He always is. I'll be around to post again when something exciting happens. Laterr.

-Christina

Whew.

Wed, 06 May 2009 16:16:01 GMT

Wow. So. A lot has been going on lately, not even gonna lie. Softball is done for school, and starting up very soon for summer. I'm excited. I'm kind of glad that it's over for school, but I do wish that I was going to States or something with my team. I know we could've made it, but eh, it's all good. I'm just glad the drama's over. Aside from that, things are going alright. Me and Amanda aren't together or anything, but people seem to think we are. I don't know. I don't think we will be together any time soon, really, because she doesn't want a relationship right now because she's still stuck on Nicole, which we both can't stand because, well, Nik is a bitch and treats her like shit. I don't know what's going on with that, but I know that I'm getting too close, and it bugs me. But whenever I try to pull myself back a bit, I can't. Like. I don't know if it's because I'm already too attatched, or if I just really don't want to. Hell, it could be both. I don't know. Point is, she's pretty much already got me wrapped around her finger. I love it, but I hate it all at the same time. It scares me really. And I still care about Lyndsay. I mean, she is still my friend, and her and I were really close. And I know the fact that I'm stuck on Amanda bothers her, even though she does have a boyfriend. Eh. Not much I can do about it. It was kinda her choice to move on anyway. But yeah, things with me and Amanda are going alright considering the circumstances. I haven't seen her much lately because there's a lot going on, but we've been talking and stuff, so it's alright. She seems to like risking getting in trouble at night to talk to me. She's supposed to be off the phone by 10, and she'll call me at like 10:30/11 and talk to me. She's such a nerd. Haha.

Aside from all that stuff, I'm finally getting out of my Christian school next year! Yep! For senior year, I'm going back to my real school. Hollywood Hills. Heck yes. It's not the greatest school around or anything, but all my friends are there, and I miss it there, even it is dumb. On the up side, it's like... Gay central. Haha. Soooo I can go there and not get shit for being gay! =D Amazing and a half. I'm getting my hair cut right after I take senior pictures, which will be soon, because I want my hair shorter for summer ball. I can't wait. No more uniform, all my friends. I'm excited. I don't think I've ever been so excited about school in my life. Haha.

I've been hanging out with some of my old friends more lately, too. And I've come in contact with some friends from wayyy back. Like, back in 8-under softball, I played and was really close with this girl Catherine (Cat), but then like, I don't really know what happened, but she like.. Fell off the face of the earth or something. And then recently when I was at a district game for softball, I was getting my stuff put away and my mom was waiting for me but she was talking to some people and I was like "Who the hell..?" and I get over there and this girl comes up and she goes "Do you remember me..?" and I looked at her with like this look of disbeliefe and I was like "CATHERINE!" and we hugged. Haha. Apparently she played for her school team, who we later beat for the district championship. Haha. But yeah so I hung out with her and we've been hanging out more and talking. And then last week Friday I went to watch one of the softball games, and I met up with another old team mate who stopped playing. It's crazy. I'm loving it though. I'm gaining friends, losing friends, and maintaining the ones that stick around.

My job is pissing me off. It's easy and I like it, but my managers are fucking stupid. Like, recently I was told that I wasn't performing well at work, yet I've hardly been there in the last 2 weeks because they keep cutting my hours, which sucks in itself. In all actuality, they're just looking for any little excuse they can to fire people because they over-hired. They have way too many people on the payroll. It's stupid. So I went and put in an application at a new Firehouse Subs place closer to my house. Hopefully I'll get that, that way if they decide to fire me, I can be like "That's fine, I have a new job already, anyway. Thanks for nothing, assholes!" Haha yep. Works for me.

Summer ball is coming up fast, and I can't wait. My coach is completely amazing. He always calls us up to see what we're doing, how we are, if we wanna go do somethin with him and shit. It's pretty sick. He's really chill. And my team is going to be like.. Amazing. We're stacked. And for once, I'm not the only gay one on the team! Amazing! And I won't be the only one with short hair! I really can't wait. We have our first tournament in Boca, then South Miami, then we're heading to South Carolina for a week, then not even a week later we're going to Kissemmee, then not long after that back up to Tampa, then we're back here in Davie for our last one. Coach doesn't practice that often, but when we do, they're long. But I don't really mind that, because I'd rather have one 3.5/4 hour practice once in a while rather than five 2 hour practices throughout the week.

So yeah, that's pretty much what's been going on since the last time I posted on here. Oh, that and the fact that me and Skittlez are perfectly fine again. Love that girl. We decided that when I get back to Hills, she's my school girlfriend. Haha. Ah. Things have been up and down, but I'm pretty content with my life right now, and I have no one but God to thank for that. I'll post again when I can.

-Christina

Nightmares...

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:24:12 GMT

So... You all know (not like anyone really reads this anyway, but whatever.) about the murders and what not... I still can't believe that it really happened. I see the pictures, I see the memory pamphlet from the funeral.. Everything.. hell I saw their bodies in the caskets at the viewing... But I still can't wrap my head around the fact that they're both really gone forever... I mean fuck. Josh was just at my house just 2 days before it happened. He slept over that Saturday and was there all day Sunday, too. I was at work, though... So I didn't see him much and now I regret it.. It's so crazy... I've been having the worst nightmares, too.. It started off as just the two of them being killed by some annoymous person because I never knew what the husband looked like... And then it escallated to dreams of my own family and close friends being tortured and/or killed... It's always something different, but the same at the same time. Like it always has to do with people dying, but it's always a different method... I haven't been able to sleep well in over two weeks, and lately it's really getting to me. I can't focus, I'm exhausted.. It's been making me physically weak and sick, too. I hate it. Ugh. The good thing is that Spring Break is coming up next week.. Thing is I'm working Saturday from 9:45am-4pm and then Sunday from 2-close which is 8, plus closing and finishing orders and shit...sop basically 8:30. Then I'll probably be working all of Spring Break, too, and then the following weekend.. It's good because I need the money and it gets my mind off of everything, but at the same time, it doesn't leave me much time to relax and be with friends when I really need them.. Ugh. Lately Rob has been over a lot, though, so he's been helping me out. And Amanda and Caitlyn have been helping whenever I go up there to see them on the weekends. I won't get to see them this weekend, though, so I don't really know what I'm going to do when I'm not working. Guess I'll figure that one out later. I don't know. But I miss Renee and Josh. I keep forgetting that it really happened, and when I see the pictures and stuff I just keep thinking it's all a nightmare that I'm going to wake up from and they're still here... The night at the viewing... It was horrible. Seeing Renee and Josh laying there... It hurt so bad.. Especially seeing Josh.. Hearing people speak about them... Ugh... It was cute though... They had Josh in his favorite jacket with his hood up.. And they had some Easton gloves on his hands, and in his folded hands... There was a little Spider-Man action figure... It was cute.. There was little Hot Wheels cars and stuff lining the back of the open part of the casket... Ugh... I miss him... But like my song says.. "I guess Heaven was needing a hero, somebody just like you. Brave enough to stand up for what you believe, and follow it through. When I try to make it make sense in my mind, the only conclusion I come to is that Heaven was needing a hero like you." That about sums it up. They were two extraordinary people, and no one understands why they had to be taken so soon, but I think it was because of how extraordinary they were that they had to go... God needed them up there with him... Rest in Peace guys.. I miss you more than you know.. And I'll never, ever forget you. Watch over me.. Over us.. From Heaven. Help me see right when I'm doing wrong.. I know I'll be able to feel your presence soon now and then whenever you're around, just like I do with Bob, Draven, George, and Acacia... I love you guys..

-Christina Marie.

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 02:41:53 GMT

If Heaven Was Needing A Hero - Jo Dee Messina

Services..

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 03:26:29 GMT

So lately things have been really tough... The murders have hit us really hard. I know I didn't tell you all what happened in the last entry, so I'll go ahead and do that here. Basically, I've known these people my whole life... Renee was at the hospital when I was being born. And her son Josh was 13 and he was like another little brother to me... And well, Renee remarried a little over 2 weeks ago, and... Last Tuesday he came home drunk and they got into a fight and well... He ended up stabbing both her and Josh.. The viewing is tomorrow, and the funeral service is Wednesday.. And yeah... It's hit my family really hard.. Haven't been able to focus on anything.. It's been really tough... Hopefully seeing them will make us realize it's real and help the process move along... But my friends have been pretty great.. Especially Amanda and Caitlyn and Rob.. And my softball girls and coaches.. Thanks everyone for being there for me as best you can... I'm not really sure what else to put right now... I'll post again eventually...

-Christina

R.I.P....

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:44:05 GMT

Rip Renee and Josh Bader... I miss you guys... I hope that bastard rots in jail for killing you.. I love you two... watch over me from Heaven... rest in peace guys.... I'll never forget you...

Woot =]

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 21:21:08 GMT

Ah this weekend is going pretty well so far. Friday night we had a school softball game against Doral. Kicked their asses 16-1. That's what they get for coming to our home field and being all cocky. Fuckin bitches. I got a 2 run home run and a few doubles. Pretty sick. Had some good plays at 3rd base, too. Amazing. And then today, I had my first day at work (Wannado City). I worked from 9:45 till 4. It went pretty well, I must say. My pictures came out really good and all that. It was kinda boring at times, but good none the less. And nowwww I'm eating and getting ready, then going out to Wellington to hang out with Caitlyn until Amanda gets home, then we're going to see her<3. I believe I'm sleeping over Caitlyn's, too. SO! It should be fun. And then tomorrow I work from 4-close. So yeah. pretty good time so far ^.^ Gotta make time to type up my English paper as well. Ahhh. Lovin life right now. Talk to ya'll later!

-Christina

Fuck..

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 19:31:42 GMT

So yesterday was pretty much the worst day I've had in a while. Today hasn't been the best either, but it isn't as bad. I just had a really ridiculous day at school, and practice wasn't all that great afterwards, either. I offered to catch for Cassy at her pitching lesson and my coach gave me a bag that was supposed to have catchers gear in it. But, when I got home, there were only two helmets and two gloves in the bag, but no gear. So I had to drive over to another park and get the gear from our catcher and needless to say I was late getting to Cassy's and getting to the lesson.. Before I left my house, though, my parents were fighting about something.. I don't know what it was... But as I was finishing up the lesson with Cassy, my little brother called me and was on the verge of tears because my parents were fighting and yelling and screaming again... So I had to take Cassy home and then race home.. By the time I got there they were arguing but not as bad, so I just told my brother to go to my room for the time being and stayed in there with him. He ended up falling asleep and I had to get him up so he could go to his room.. But God... The night just sucked... I don't know.. Today has just been.. whatever. I don't even know. I have practice soon, and we're going to have a scrimage between our team, so I have to pitch, which I'm not really up to, but eh.. Oh well.. I'm hoping that my talk with mom goes well tonight about this weekend. I'm trying to see if they'll let me stay the night at my friend Caitlyn's with her and Amanda, but in order to do that I'd have to keep the car overnight, then go to practice the next morning and work later that afternoon... Hopefully they'll let me, because that would help out a lot. I have my first school tournament this weekend Friday and Saturday, then after our games Saturday I'm heading over to West Broward High for a colorguard competition with Amanda and Caitlin then hanging out with them and Robert and maybe Kristin afterward. Should be fun, I hope. I have to finish this shit for yearbook.. I'll update when I can... Later...

-Christina

If Heaven Needed A Hero...

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 19:33:52 GMT

So, I've been completely out of it lately. Things have been easy but difficult all at the same time. It's... Strangely complicated. I have enough going on and it isn't exactly helping me much... Not to mention I've been thinking about my friends a lot more lately.. Draven.. George.. Acacia... I miss them.. A lot.. George was my best friend from birth basically until I was almost 7.. Until he died from cancer 3 days before his 7th birthday.. Acacia and I weren't best friends, but we were close for a couple years... She was killed by a car while on a scooter with her friend, who got off with a broken pelvis and something else... And then Draven... I loved that girl.. I almost left Kori for her a couple of times.. And then she died during her surgery for her stomach cancer... I can't imagine what would happen if I lost anymore people that were close to me... Someone like Amanda.. Rob.. Caitlyn... Skittlez... I'd flip... I don't even know... But it makes me think, like, what would I do if I fell in love with someone, and she died or was killed...? My friend Hope is going through that... Her girlfriend was killed in a car wreck a while ago, and she's still completely lost... She loved that girl with all of her heart and she was taken from her... I was watching a video about her on YouTube.. And the song on it as well as the knowledge of who she was and what happened just broke me... And it made me think.. Like... It was called If Heaven Needed A Hero by Jo Dee Messina... And it made me think that Heaven really must have been short of some heroes if he had to take Draven, George, and Acacia from me.. And Chelsea from Hope.. And everyone else that has lost someone... I don't know... This is a bit of a rant, I know, but I just needed to get it out.. I've also been thinking a lot about what would happen if I died... Like.. Who would care? Who would cry? Who wouldn't give a shit? Who would remember me? What would I be remembered for? Who would regret not telling me something? Who would wish they had just one more day with me? Who would want me back? Who's life would be most impacted? I don't know... It's a lot to think about, and sometimes I just feel like people really wouldn't care that much. I feel like I wouldn't really leave much of a mark in the world, and it bothers me.. I feel like my existance wouldn't have made much difference in anyones life... I don't know really... But anyway, this is the song I was talking about... Pretty strong... later...

-Christina

If Heaven Needed A Hero- Jo Dee Messina

I came by today to see you
I just had to let you know
If I knew the last time that I held you was the last time
I'd have held you, and never let go

Oh, it's kept me awake nights, wondering
I lie in the dark, just asking why
I've always been told
You won't be called home
Until it's your time

I guess heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up
For what you believe
And follow it through
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
Is heaven was needing a hero
Like you

I remember the last time I saw you
Oh, you held your head up proud
I laughed inside
When I saw how you were standing out in the crowd
Your such a part of who I am
Now that part will just be void
No matter how much I need you now
Heaven needed you more

Cause heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up
For what you believe
And follow it through
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
Is heaven was needing a hero
Like you

Is Heaven was needing a hero
and that's you

I miss you....

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 19:13:29 GMT

George... Sheyra... Acacia... And especially Draven... I miss you guys.... George and Draven... I think about you every day.. This basically explains it...

Kenny Chesney-Who You'd Be Today.

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughin' in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone.

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today.

Would you see the world, would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Somedays the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy.

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today.

Today, today, today
Today, today, today.

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again some day
Someday, someday...

Take Me With You

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:51:01 GMT

So, Lyndsay, I was listening to this song, and I thought of you.
read it, and look at all the bolded texts..
<3

Please forgive me if I seem forward
But I’ve never been in front of anything like you
It’s the last place I ever thought I’d be when I woke up this morning
Is it true, in that you’re always this breathtaking?
And you’re smart and you’re willing
My God this is killing me

Tell me all the things you never said
We can lie here and talk for hours in my bed

I don’t have anything to hide
I don’t have anything, everything is not for certain
I don’t have anything to hide
I don’t have anything, everything is not for certain

You’re starting to see right through me
And I’m loving every minute of it
It’s like I’m born again
Every time I breath in so
If you’re curious, my favorite color’s blue
And I like to sing in the shower
If you’d like, I’ll sing to you

Tell me all the things you never said
We can lie here and talk for hours in my bed

I don’t have anything to hide
I don’t have anything, everything is not for certain
I don’t have anything to hide
I don’t have anything, everything is not for certain

Tell me all of your hopes, all of your dreams
I want you to take me there
Tell me all of your hopes, all of your dreams
I want to take you there
And tell me everything, every breath
I want you to know I’ll be there
There’s just one more thing, one request
I want you to take me with you.

Take me with you,
I will never let you down, and I will love you now and for ever

Short message

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 04:10:23 GMT

I just thought I'd say that....

My girlfriend is amazing, and I guarantee she is better than yours.

Love you, baby! =D <3

Absolutely Perfect

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 02:01:01 GMT

Alright, so lately I've been so unbelievably happy, and everyone around me can see it. I'm in a better mood, I smile a lot more, I don't get angry so easily. It's pretty great. Anyway, last night I went up to see Lyndsay again for our date. I met her at the bowling ally again. We bowled and I think we played about 4 games, and I beat her every time. Haha sorry baby! But I always have a great time bowling with her. She's just so much fun. It sucked, though, because we ended up on a lane between a family with kids, and mexicans on the other side. It was annoying, but we had to be goos for the sake of the children. Oh well. Anyway, after we went bowling, we decided to go to the beach since it wasn't too cld out. I drove us out there and we went and found a nice little spot on the beach and laid in the sand. We kissed and held onto eachother and everything. It was great. There was more butttttt those are for us to know, right babe? ;) Haha but anyway, it was crazy. I had butterflies in my stomach the whole time.. She drove me nuts.. My heart was racing and just.. Everything was perfect. Or at least I thought it was. The stars were beautiful above us in the night sky.. And then off in the distance, at the perfect moment, fireworks started going off. It was amazing. She laid her head on my chest while I had my arms around her and we watched the fireworks together. Every now and then she would move to kiss me, then turn back to the fireworks. It was by far the greatest date I've ever been on. It was something I've always wanted to do. Lay on the beach with someone I really loved or cared about at night and stare at the stars.. The fireworks were an added bonus. I can't believe how much I've already fallen for this girl. She's so amazing.. I have no idea how I've gotten this far without her, but now that I have her, I'm holding on tight, and never letting go.

<3Lyndsay<3

-Christina

Blehhh

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 19:55:24 GMT

Ughhhh. This week is going by so damn slow. The only goodthing about it is the fact that I talk to my girlfriend a lot. I'm not used to it, really, but every time she calls and I hear her ring tone I smile really big, and then when I answer and hear her voice, I smile more, and it's audible in my voice, and I'm sure she notices it. i'm always afraid that her dad will get mad at her for something and ground her or something and I won't be able to talk to her, which would be horrible because I can only see her on weekends, and can only talk to her during the week, and it'll suck without that, because she is what makes my day. She makes me want to get up in the morning and live out the day, especially during the week. I'll add to this when I get home. Time to head out to practice<3

<3 Lyndsay

-Christina

Can't shake her.

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 00:12:21 GMT

Alright, so in my last entry, I told you guys that I have a new, amazing girlfriend. Well, I spent more time with her in two days then I ever spent with Jessie in a month. Sad right? Anyway! This was probably the best weekend I've had in a really long time. Our first date went really, really well. I drove up where she lives and we went bowling. I kicked her ass after the first game (But she was so cute to watch<3) but it went really well. We drove over to another area and I met a couple of her friends, which went a lot better than she expected, apparently. She said her friend liked me, which is a great thing. It's good to have her friends like me. Makes things so much easier. But yeah, anyway, she's pretty great. I saw her and my heart began to race. It was crazy. I haven't had that feeling in so long, and I love it. When she hugged me, I thought my heart was literally going to pound out of the confines of my chest. And when she kissed me... That was just a whole other story. That I couldn't even begin to describe. She has such a beautiful smile, and I can't help but to smile back when I see it. It gives me butterflies. I think I had butterflies like.. The entire time I was with her. It was crazy. When I went over there the other day, and we were laying in bed watching a movie with her in my arms... It was incredible. I don't think she noticed how fast my heart was racing each time she turned her attention from the movie to me and kissed me. I can not even begin to describe my feelings. I just know that I'm falling for this girl, and I'm falling hard and fast. She's everything I've been waiting for, and more. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us. Babe, just know that no matter what, I'm not going anywhere. I'll never leave your side. I'll always be here when you need help. I'll always be here when you need someone to talk to. You can always confide in me, Lynz. I won't say I love you, because it's a bit too soon, and I like to be sure about that before I say it, but I will tell you that at this point, you alone have my heart, and no one will be able to change that. <3

-Christina

Greaaatt Day =D

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 02:20:41 GMT

So, I've had an amazing couple days. I got ahold of my god daughter, and I got to talk to her for a good long while. It was really nice. We're trying to make plans to see eachother more often. I'm pretty damn psyched about it. I'm so proud of her. My little baby girl<3
ANYWAY!
In other news!
I dumped Jessie not too long ago. She was being a horrible girlfriend and well we're not going to get into it. BUT! I got a new BETTER girlfriend =]
Her name is Lyndsay, and she's pretty awesome.
I think this one will work out well. She lives a bit farther from me, but not far enough to make it hard.
I'm excited =]

I'm off to call her back, now! =D

-Christina

Boredom

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 21:50:07 GMT

Alright, so I'm incredibly bored, so I figured I'd post a new entry. Lately I haven't really been as upset about everything as I have been. I still don't exactly know what's going on with Jessie and I, but I'm getting over it. I figure, why hold on and commit to someone who isn't ready to commit to you, you know? So for now, I'm simply single and not exactly looking, in the literal sence. Of course I want to be with someone, but I'm not pushing it. I've realized that the more you look and search for a relationship, the less likely you are to find one that will last. So I'm just kicking back and letting life take its course and letting things come to me. I've also realized lately that my friends are pretty damn amazing. I mean, I've always known they were great, but lately, I've just come to appreciate some of them so much more, simply because they always know how to make me feel better and how to have a good time. Like Tyler. Him and I are getting closer and closer every day. I love that boy to death. There's never a boring moment with him. Same with Colin. He's been my best friend for a while now and I don't know what I'd do without him. Same goes for Becky, Camille, Jessie, Katrina, Michael, Ryan.. hell all of them. They're just all a great support system and are always there for me when I need them.

I don't know what's in store for me, but I do hope to meet some new people soon, and start up some good friendships, and maybe even some relationships. And hopefully, things will continue to look up from here.

Until next time!

-Christina

(P.S. Ya'll can text me if you want, just go to my info and click where it says text message. I promise it's really me!)

Fuuucccckkkkk!

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 19:25:22 GMT

UGH!
Life i really unfair, you know that? I FINALLY met this girl here that I really, <I>REALLY</I> like, and she likes me, but she's trying to get over her ex and what not to make sure that she doesn't hurt me or anything because she wants to do things right and she said she really cares about me and doesn't want to hurt me. So, anyway, she's been working on getting over this girl, (By the way, her name is Jessie and the ex is Danielle) and Danielle has just been coming up with stupid shit and creating reasons for Jessie to have to run over there, even though she had a boyfriend. Once she found out Jessie was talking to me, she started pulling a bunch of shit, like overdosing on purpose for Jessie's attention and shit. It's ridiculous. Anyway, last week Jessie went on a "rescue mission" to pick up Danielle for some stupid reason, and I don't really know. But anyway somehow at some point, Danielle broke up with the kid (His name is Lance), and I guess it really pissed him off. Well he sent his cousin to fight Danielle and I guess Jessie stepped in and ended up breaking her hand while fighting the girl off, then Lance, that stupid piece of white trash, pulled out a gun and fucking SHOT JESSIE in the leg or something. I don't know. He's in jail now, but now my girl is on bedrest with a fucking whole in her leg and I can't go see her because she lives about 30 minutes away from me right now and I haven't had the time or gas to see her. I just found out late Saturday night and it happened on like... Wednesday or Thursday. So yeah. I'm so upset. I really want to go see her and show her how much I care.... But I can't.... Ugh... This is so ridiculous... Wish me luck and keep Jessie in your thoughts and prayers, please... Thank you..

-Christina

Hectic.

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 18:31:39 GMT

Mannn things have been crazy lately. I've been so busy with everything! My mom made me quit volleyball, but I've still got softball. I have a tournament in Ft. Myers this weekend, and I had one in Kissimmee last weekend. We have a couple more that are local before I head up to Tampa for another tournament as well. These are all college showcases, so it's pretty awesome. I've been working on getting emails and what not out to coaches from various schools just trying to get myself out there. It's so crazy! Meh. Me and Anna are still together, though. So it's pretty good. I don't get to talk to her a whole lot, but we're working on it. She's really great when I actually get to talk to her.. She was so worried about me the other night because I went for a walk at night and she didn't hear from me after that or the whole day after. She was hysterical and crying and completely freaking out.. I felt so bad =[ Mannn
OH!
I MIGHT be getting my dad's 2000 MUSTANG as my first car! =D
We're not positive yet, and it's still up in the air, but either way I get to drive it whenever now. I'm so psyched! Ahhhh I hope I get it. Or at least some sort of car soon.

Anywayyyyyy
I'm going to head off and look at more colleges and stuff and send out more emails to coaches to make them come see me play ^.^

Laterrrr!

-Christina

What to do..?

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 03:21:55 GMT

Ok so, what do you do when you finally find someone you like a lot, and they ask you out, and you say yes... Only to have your ex that you've been in love with for 2 and a half years almost, come and tell you that they want to give you a second chance just a couple days later...?
This sucks...
I'm still in love with her...
But I really like this new girl..
Neither of them are very close to where I live...
But...
I don't know... =[

What? New Girlfriend? No way!

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 18:30:44 GMT

Hey guys!
Soooo this past week has been very... Well. Eventful to say the least. Last week my parents made me quit volleyball, and I cried before I even told my team. They wanted me to quit for the sake of my knees, but I love my girls and it hurt a lot. Then over the weekend I got ditched by the people I went out with so they could go to someone's house and drink, but I wasn't about to drive another 20 minutes away, drink, and then drive home after drinking. Sorry, but I'm not stupid.
So yeah, they ditched me, which pissed me off, but whatever. Then I found out that Alii was all over Jessie and making out with her and shit, so I hope she knows that I'll never be with her again after all this shit. But that doesn't matter anymore. Why? Because last night I was asked out by this amazing girl, Anna. She calls me C-Baby xD She's so cute. Sadly, though, she lives in New Jersey, but one of her best friends has a sister down here in Ft. Lauderdale, so she'll be down here enough =]. I'm having a pretty great day today so far too. Been talking to my new girl all day, I got my Algebra 2 quiz back and I got a 120% on it thanks to bonus questions, annnddddd I have a reason to tell my parents as to why I can't quit volleyball! Apparently, if you quit a sport, you can't play another sport until the following year, so if they make me quit, I can't play softball later, and that's the whole reason why they made me quit, so I'm good! I'm so happy. I told my girls and they were all really happy. Especially Casey, since I'm her passing partner! =D Ahh I'm so psyched to play today. Wade is going to run me home after school so I can get all my stuff, and I'm going to call my parents to tell them that I'm going. They'll just have to tell my softball coach that I'm at a game and I'll be at practice Wednesday.

Anywayyyyy, no one even really reads this, so I guess I'll wrap it up. I just needed to get my excitement out. I'm off to talk to my girl and chill for the rest of classss! Byeee!

-Christina